Inspiration

Tomorrow is Easter. As I sit here at my parents house, a million things running through my head since we arrived Thursday evening. Joy fills my heart as I see my son engaging with family. All the giggles and little words of adoration from his mouth warm my heart. I am full of happiness and comfort to be in a very familar atmosphere with the same noises and laughter from what seems like such a long time ago when I lived at home with my siblings and parents. Anxiety and worry seep into my heart and mind as I think about my dad's up coming surgery Monday morning for a surgery that is supposed to cure a physical pain he has endured for years. Will this really relieve his pain? Does God know his suffering? Mentally and physically? "God please come fix this...seriously...God I think in order for things to be fixed I am pretty sure you need to physically come and fix this." I pray this routinely. I am filled with so many questions that most of my prayers would sound all jumbled up if I were to say them out loud. How do I find peace? How do I find peace when I feel like things can seem so hopeless after so many conversations full of hopelessness?

I read a blog that is so inspirational. My awesome friend Megan mentioned a long time ago that she reads this blog and now I read it all the time. http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/. Her faith is real and is tested daily. I love reading her blog because she asks many of the questions I find myself asking more and more. Her compassion and perserverence is like no other. Tonite as I read her blog about resurrection I find a response to one of my gergillion requests of God. God has come physically. Redemption has started. Realization: I am the hands and feet of Jesus. In my weakness, Jesus makes me strong. In my imperfection, Jesus makes me perfect. I can have peace because God WILL make things forever right. Until then, I will try in His strength to be the one with hope when no one else does. I will put my trust in God and his ability to use me in all my inadequacies (or whoever else wants to use to get the job done). My dad will be made perfect one day, and it will be better than anything I could ask or imagine. I will trust in that.

As I sit here, tears flowing, I am full of hope. I pretty sure it's not because I know I will get all the answers to my questions, which I'm sure I will keep asking until...well let's not put a time limit on it. I am full of hope in a Savior that LIVES and is powerful in this world. I know his love and grace are abounding because I see it everyday when I look at my child as he smiles, or in my dad who has been faithful despite impossible odds from childhood and now into adulthood. As I go to bed tonite I pray a short prayer: God thank you for my father who has shown me what truth faith and service look like no matter what Satan throws in his way. May your grace abound in his life and be visible to those around him. Amen.