It has taken me a long time to write this particular post. Every time I would try and write something I would just sit and stare at the computer screen. Eventually, I just closed the computer and put it aside for another time. Tonite, I have found time and possibly the energy to go ahead and write about our upcoming change as a family.
For my entire married life, Mark and I have always said we wanted to live in Melber, Ky. Both of our families live there. An entire farm waits for us and counts on our arrival to carry on Adams Horses. Once we got married, we knew that staying in Melber wasn't our immediate plan because Mark didn't have a job there and I wanted to finish school. So the decision was made, after a job interview for us to move to Tullahoma, TN. I remember the drive to that little town 11 miles off I24. I remember so many different feelings I had then. Mostly, I remember Mark and I telling pretty much everyone we met in Tullahoma that we were only here for a short time and then we planned to move to Kentucky as soon as Mark could find a job. We took a trip back to Melber about every chance we got. Weekends, holidays, special events. I am pretty sure for the first 3 years we just pretended to live in Tullahoma. Our hearts were in Kentucky. But, we did start a few relationships in Tullahoma. Steve and Margaret Bills. Greg and Andrea Muse. Then a few years later Joel and Andrea Abrahams. Ed and Corynn Moyers, Greg and Megan McKinzie. Before I had even realized it 5 years had gone by and my relationships in Tullahoma had deepened. Now, 11 years later, there are too many names, people, to even write down that we love in this little T-town as the locals call it. I had all 3 of my children in Tullahoma. We bought our first house here. Our best friends live here. We are so blessed with our church family here.
Last month I went on my last Cedar Lane ladies retreat. As we worshiped together on the last evening, I looked around and couldn't help but sit and let tears just fall from my eyes. I hadn't even realized it, but over the past 11 years, these women had become so important to me. The love I have for them has grown into something I never expected. They loved me, matured me, supported me through some of the most important years of my life. One of the many lessons I am learning these days is that we serve a faithful God. When Mark and I were worried about moving away from family and into a town where we knew no one, God was faithful. We found family. A spiritual family who loved us through the beginning of our life together as a married couple, through the birth of each of our children, through deaths of grandparents, in our day to day life joys and struggles. God was faithful then...and He will be faithful now.
In 2 weeks we will be packing up all of our things and moving to Melber, Kentucky. Mark and I are beyond excited. Our kids are getting excited. Our family in Melber is, I think, the most excited of all of us:) I feel so blessed be able to have the opportunity to raise my children around their grandparents, great-grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins. It's something I never had growing up and wish I had. It's what we both want. It's what we have always expected we would do. But one thing we didn't expect to happen....we will be leaving a very large part of our hearts in Tullahoma, Tn. We did not expect to feel so heartbroken to leave this place we have called home for 11 years and the only place our children know as their home. Those same fears of moving away from 'home' are now upon me once again. This time, they are fears and anxiety about leaving the very place I was scared to come to. I seem to have a never ending list of questions I am asking God these days. I don't consider myself an extremely dramatic or over emotional person normally...but I am definitely all over the place right now. I think most days I could contribute some Psalms of my own to the bible with all of my emotions swaying back and forth. One thing I am trying to constantly tell myself over and over again is that no matter what my fears, anxieties, or expectations of this move...God is faithful. And I must be faithful to his mission no matter where I live. It's so easy to stay where things are comfortable. I like comfortable, predictable, normal. But God did not call us to be comfortable. As a disciple of Christ, I will trust God and not my level of comfort or anxiety. I will not choose my comfort over mission. This move must be first a Kingdom move. What does it look like to further his Kingdom in this super small town that holds both history and future for our family? I know it will be shown to us. God is faithful.
"If You Say Go." I have been singing it over and over again these past few weeks. And I think I will be singing it a lot over the next few months!
If You say go
We will go
If You say wait
We will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll fix our eyes on You and we will come
If You say go
We will go
If You say wait
We will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll fix our eyes on You and we will come
Your ways
Are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to the fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for You
If You say go
We will go
If You say wait
We will wait
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
The big 6!
Tomorrow I will officially be the proud mother of a 6 year old:) Mark has been telling Aaron since he turned 5 that he wasn't allowed to turn 6. Aaron always gets a big smile on his face when Mark says that to him and says "Dad, you know I can't stay 5!"
Aaron, you are so compassionate and kind hearted. You just finished a year at Montessori for your final year of preschool. You have learned to read and we have discovered your love for numbers. That shouldn't surprise us because your daddy is awesome with numbers. We have noticed that you have an incredible amount of focus for being 5 years old...I mean 6. All your teachers talk about how easy you are to teach and how self-disciplined you are. We always have such positive feed back from family and friends about your attitude and willingness to listen. You always ask questions that I have to think about really hard before I answer. They are super complicated. A lot of the time I let daddy answer them...he tends to ask similar questions:) I love the way you volunteer to play with your siblings so I can finish whatever task I am working on. I love the way you work hard with your daddy and I when we have things to get done around the house or at the barn. I love even more how I randomly find you seeing jobs that need to be done and doing them to "surprise" us. You are a lot like your mama, a people pleaser:) This weekend we will finish a season of baseball. You are on the Nationals and play 2nd base...or 2nd 'baser' if we use your terminology.You are really enjoying playing 'real baseball' as opposed to 'tee ball' last year. You get a hit pretty much every time you are up to bat and play so hard. Last fall/winter you played soccer and loved the running part of it. I am so interested what particular sport you will end up playing more as you get bigger. Right now, you say your favorite is whatever you are playing at the time. You have also reallys started watching baseball and basketball on tv and can follow the game pretty well. Your daddy LOVES having someone who will watch 'the game' with him:) I am so grateful for your example as a big brother to Corban, and how sweet you treat Eden. You have recently discovered a love for broccoli and ribs. You have requested both for your birthday dinner! And oreo ice cream. You have been patching your left eye for a year now. We have gone from 20/200 to 20/30 during that year period patching 6 hrs a day. You have done awesome! You love legos, using your roller skates Gigi got you for Christmas, swimming (you are taking lessons right now) and riding your bike.
Just the other day we told you we are moving to Kentucky this summer. This is big. You have shown pretty mixed emotions about the whole thing. You say you are excited to move where your grandparents and cousins are, but the other night when I put you to bed you started crying because you would miss your friends. I know this move is going to effect you more than your siblings because you are older and can somewhat understand implications of us not being 'home.' I pray daily that the adjustment will be easy for you. We are trying to show you that God is faithful. He was faithful when we moved to Tullahoma knowing no one, and he will be faithful when we move again. We will be about his mission wherever we live.
Aaron, your mama and daddy are so proud of you! You are in such a fun stage of life and we are enjoying watching every minute of it! We pray that you will show Jesus in all of your activities these days and that God will show you his faithfulness as we prepare for a big transition for this family. We love you!
Aaron, you are so compassionate and kind hearted. You just finished a year at Montessori for your final year of preschool. You have learned to read and we have discovered your love for numbers. That shouldn't surprise us because your daddy is awesome with numbers. We have noticed that you have an incredible amount of focus for being 5 years old...I mean 6. All your teachers talk about how easy you are to teach and how self-disciplined you are. We always have such positive feed back from family and friends about your attitude and willingness to listen. You always ask questions that I have to think about really hard before I answer. They are super complicated. A lot of the time I let daddy answer them...he tends to ask similar questions:) I love the way you volunteer to play with your siblings so I can finish whatever task I am working on. I love the way you work hard with your daddy and I when we have things to get done around the house or at the barn. I love even more how I randomly find you seeing jobs that need to be done and doing them to "surprise" us. You are a lot like your mama, a people pleaser:) This weekend we will finish a season of baseball. You are on the Nationals and play 2nd base...or 2nd 'baser' if we use your terminology.You are really enjoying playing 'real baseball' as opposed to 'tee ball' last year. You get a hit pretty much every time you are up to bat and play so hard. Last fall/winter you played soccer and loved the running part of it. I am so interested what particular sport you will end up playing more as you get bigger. Right now, you say your favorite is whatever you are playing at the time. You have also reallys started watching baseball and basketball on tv and can follow the game pretty well. Your daddy LOVES having someone who will watch 'the game' with him:) I am so grateful for your example as a big brother to Corban, and how sweet you treat Eden. You have recently discovered a love for broccoli and ribs. You have requested both for your birthday dinner! And oreo ice cream. You have been patching your left eye for a year now. We have gone from 20/200 to 20/30 during that year period patching 6 hrs a day. You have done awesome! You love legos, using your roller skates Gigi got you for Christmas, swimming (you are taking lessons right now) and riding your bike.
Just the other day we told you we are moving to Kentucky this summer. This is big. You have shown pretty mixed emotions about the whole thing. You say you are excited to move where your grandparents and cousins are, but the other night when I put you to bed you started crying because you would miss your friends. I know this move is going to effect you more than your siblings because you are older and can somewhat understand implications of us not being 'home.' I pray daily that the adjustment will be easy for you. We are trying to show you that God is faithful. He was faithful when we moved to Tullahoma knowing no one, and he will be faithful when we move again. We will be about his mission wherever we live.
Aaron, your mama and daddy are so proud of you! You are in such a fun stage of life and we are enjoying watching every minute of it! We pray that you will show Jesus in all of your activities these days and that God will show you his faithfulness as we prepare for a big transition for this family. We love you!
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