Eden Rachel Adams is here!

Our sweet baby girl was born on 12-12-13 at 3:23pm. She is healthy and beautiful. We are blessed beyond measure. Praise the Lord!

Update

Yea, so it's been two months since I blogged. I thought it would be good to give an update on our family before we add our sweet baby girl...which could happen anytime now!!! I am currently typing this blog on my new computer Mark got me for xmas. He gave it to me early so that would have it before the baby comes. He is so sweet...our old computer has been on it's last leg for right at a year. It's a chrome book and I love it. It's light weight and is exactly what I need. So here goes the update...

1. My boys are growing like crazy. Aaron is 4 going on 10. Last month he started asking if I would 'homeschool' him. I am sure it's because two of his closest friends, Aiden and Cambree, started homeschooling this year and he hears them talk about it. I told him that he would go to school soon but that we could do a few things at home if he wanted. I have been letting him control the speed we go but folks he has absolutely taken off with his reading and writing. He can read simple sentences, write all his letters and a lot of words, and write his numbers up to 20. He always asks to keep doing reading lessons and then asks if he can write on his dry erase board the 'really hard letters.' I am so proud of him. Mark and I are trying to decide whether he will go to kindergarden next year or go somewhere else for another year. Tough decision folks....tough decision. He is so excited about his little sister getting here. I am loving the more grown up things we can do with him now. He is such a great big brother to Corban and I know he will be even greater with this sweet girl...who still has no name.

2. Corban is just straight up fun. He is at the best age of discovery and his vocabulary has exploded over the past month. He is definitely our funniest child yet. Not a night goes by that Mark and I don't repeat what Corban said that night or a facial expression he made. He is very confident, opinionated and loves his big brother. I think he would do anything Aaron asked him to do.Hopefully I will be able to do an 18mo. blog post on just him. I think he will have a more difficult adjustment period because of his age. He is VERY attached to Mark and I. His strong opinions are currently expressed by screaming, which is pretty much unbearable. He is spending a lot of time in time-out or getting a spanking these days. We aren't huge on redirection. He has had a lot of ear infections of the past 6 months and we were referred to an ENT for him to get tubes. Because of the baby, we have already met our deductable for the year, so we are trying to get any and all procedures done before Dec 31st. The only appointment available before January for him was this coming Tuesday. My due date for baby is Thursday. Nothing like cutting it as close as possible! I'm just KINDA stressed right now.

3. This pregnancy has been the best one out of the three for me. I have gained just under 25lbs and felt much better than with the boys. She is smaller than the boys too. My blood pressure has done awesome. I hope that I will be able to go into labor by myself and stay at home as long as possible before going to sit in that awful hospital bed like I did before. I have no idea when she will come, but I am crossing my fingers that she will wait until Corban has his procedure. I would love to be there with him and won't be able to at this point if I have her before Tuesday.

4. Mark has been working like crazy over the past couple of months. He goes in before the boys get up (which, if you know my kids' sleep schedule you know that means it's REALLY early when Mark leaves) and comes home about 6pm. Not a fun schedule for anyone in our house. Especially with me trying to keep this baby from coming right now. Thank goodness for family and friends! We were able to spend Thanksgiving in Melber this year (even though I was 38 weeks preggo) because of the amount of help I had taking care of children. Our Tullahoma family has been so awesome to help out. From random meals brought by, to helping me take Corban to Murfreesboro for an entire morning of tests/dr visits etc, watching one or both kids, or just being understanding and helping me while I go crazy in nesting these past few weeks....we are blessed for sure!

That's all I've got for now. We are just in preparation mode now for our little addition. Please say special prayers for our family over the next few weeks as we have a full schedule leading up to a huge transition in our lives. Here are a few pictures of our happenings since the beach vacation...

Busy October

I know, I know....blogging updates are scarce. We have been BUSY this month. We have had something going almost every weekend. Whether it's a wedding, a Melber trip, a beach vacation, or camping...I feel like we've done it all! Greg and Megan are in for furlough right now and we are excited about them coming for their Cedar Lane time soon!! Last week we went on our very first beach family vacation. I have never been on a beach vacation before, so the boys and I had all new experiences together. Mark is an old pro at the beach so we counted on him and the Abrahams family to help us out:) That's right, the Abrahams family went with us! We had so much fun. We have been talking or a long time about vacationing together but haven't pulled it off until just now. We are so thankful the hurricane that threatened to hit our town fizzled out too...that could have been bad. We hiked, had date nights, and swam until our bodies couldn't take anymore. Aaron really enjoyed playing on the beach with Aiden and Liam. He is getting more comfortable in the water...still not the little fish that Corban is. Corban LOVED the pool. He would jump in even if no one was there to catch him. He got used to the sand on the beach but wasn't a fan of the waves. Maybe next time. We stayed the perfect amount of time. We got back on a Wednesday night and left for a Phillips family camping trip Friday at lunch. We camped at Pennyrile State Park in KY. Aaron and Corban LOVED playing with their cousins and we always enjoy our time with siblings and parents. We even rented some canoes and went out on the little lake that was on the camp ground. Gloria and Ryan HAVE to come next time...seriously! We missed them! Both boys did great sleeping in the tent. I am very grateful that my kids adapt really well in most situations. It makes traveling a little more enjoyable. I think if I wouldn't have been 7 months preggo...I would have slept better too! Our family loves to camp. It's a lot of work, especially while pregnant, but there is nothing like being surrounded by nature and sitting by a camp fire at night. The rest of October is just as busy as the beginning and November brings Thanksgiving:) Then it's baby time!!!

Teach me Lord

So this is another reflection post:) Over the past few months I have literally been studying like crazy. God has also been putting people in my life who have been challenging me to get outside my comfort zone in ministry. I welcome it, really I do. I am excited and energized by new ideas and new people I meet all the time. I also find myself struggling with confidence. I am almost tempted to run the other way sometimes.
I am very thankful for my parents and their strong influence throughout my entire childhood to be about God's mission. Ministry is something we took very seriously and I believe that is where I got my zeal and drive to learn and challenge myself to know God better so I can share him with everyone. Now that I am more grown up, I have learned how to better use the gifts God has given me (and identify them better). I have struggled with confidence pretty much as long as I can remember, and while I have improved significantly in this area, it still brings its ugly self up sometimes.
I am getting ready to teach a class on Wednesday nights. I have been preparing and thinking about this class for over 6 months now. Up until now, I have been nothing but excited and very vocal to people about how awesome this study is and inviting people to come on this journey with me. Now that it is here...I am getting pretty anxious. That stupid lack of confidence is creeping its way into my head. "What if you do a sucky job, Diane?" "What if you have promoted this class too much and it's a HUGE disappointment to the people you have formed relationships with and have invited who DON'T even know Jesus.?" "You don't have very much experience teaching, other women do (or men for that matter)..let them do it." All these questions/statements and MANY more flood my thoughts and cause me to doubt. WHY!!! Seriously, why can't I just let things be. And it doesn't stop there....I even start questioning what I feel like God is calling me to do. Why would I feel such a strong call by God and feel so insecure at the same time? Why would God want to use me to do this particular thing or have these certain relationships when there is a perfectly capable (and well trained I might add) person to do it...better than me...or at least not mess it up like I would? Even more, why can't I keep those stupid thoughts OUT of my head!!!!
This afternoon my wonderful husband asked if I would lead the discussion for small group tonite. "Sure." "Ask the girl who talks too much and cries about everything right now." Not only do I start questioning myself, but now I have to lead a discussion in front of my husband who in my opinion is MUCH more intelligent than I am, and doesn't fumble over his words to get his point across. "sure honey." I started looking at the material. It's on confession. Oh good. Now I can confess to everyone and blubber through my talk. Great. Another way to show my insecurities.

STOP.

I spent some time in prayer after Mark and I talked. I read over the material and prayed some more. Instead of letting myself feel pressure to be EVERYTHING to everyone I decided to just STOP. Spending time emptying myself of all that stupid stuff that gets in my head and letting God fill me with his Spirit I was able to at least hear something other than Satan. Here is the direction I want to head:

God is not calling me because I am fluent with my words. God is not calling me because of my level of confidence. He is calling me because He is confident in me to show others who HE is and what he is about in this world. God isn't using me because I am perfect or even close. I think about His story in scripture. God isn't about using those who have it all together. He uses the broken. He uses the imperfect. I realize that those thoughts that flood my brain are too much about ME and not enough about HIM. Let God do his thing. He is good at it.

So my prayer today is for God to give me confidence. Not in my own abilities, but in His. He chose to put a fire in my that is just getting stronger and stronger every day. I need to trust that. I want His ways to be my ways and I want to get all of those thoughts that produce doubt OUT of my head. I pray for all of this pressure to be released and have peace. I want people to see me living Jesus and not just talking about him. I'm working on it...God's working on me!

First Day of school

Today was Aaron's first day of school. He was so excited that he wore his backpack the entire morning.

Trail Ride 2013

Well, we are back from another 9 Day Trail Ride trip. We had an excellent year this year and had NO serious accidents or problems. The weather was PERFECT! It was in the 80's most of the week and there was a breeze almost every day that made riding very enjoyable. Aaron and Corban took almost every ride every day no matter then length. Corban took a day or so off because of an ear infection but was right back in the saddle with his Papa after that. His longest ride was 7 hours! Aaron was riding his own horse by the end of the week (this mama was slightly nervous about that) and did great. He rode a very sweet, and very gentle mare who he named Mary/Suzie/or Sally, depending on which day it was. He has become and riding fool and is so proud that he can ride by himself. We had such a great time together and can't wait til next year. We will be adding a little girl to the mix!

14 months

Corban you are 14 months old. I finally got around to getting your 1 year pictures taken. You are a beautiful little boy! Your vocabulary is growing daily. We are looking forward to the trail ride next weekend:)

Happy 13 months Corban!

So I'm a few weeks late with my 13mo post, but we have been staying pretty busy around here this summer. Corban is growing and changing daily. He is walking really well now and trying to run. He says a lot of words now and LOVES to be outside. He has discovered a love for riding horses with daddy. Trail Ride here we come!

Adams update

I thought I would take some time to update the blog on what is going on with our busy family. And it is just that...busy. Summer has arrived and so has the heat. We are spending lots of time playing in the water. The boys are changing every day I feel like. Aaron is so grown up and FULL of questions. Corban is walking pretty well now and is becoming quite the social bug. He is very friendly and his scrunchy little nose will make pretty much anyone laugh. He knows it too! He has also entered the separation anxiety phase of life. My pregnancy is going by so fast. If I wasn't still having some stomach problems I would forget that I was pregnant. We will find out the gender next month. Which means the pregnancy will be half over then. Ahhhh! Today I found out that I had lost several pounds this past month so I got an order to gain some weight. That is a first for me but I don't think that's going to be a problem:) I have had a hard time accepting that our family is going to add another baby. Slowly, I have started to get used to the idea and starting to get excited about our little surprise to be here!

VBS has just ended and Summer series will start next week. This is the first year Aaron has really gotten the idea of VBS and I have really enjoyed seeing things through his eyes. It's so exciting to hear him talk about the different people he met and the lessons he learned about God. Corban wasn't as excited because the nursery isn't his favorite place. Other than the singing, it wasn't that positive of an experience for him.

Our prayer group has split into 2 groups now. I am enjoying having a smaller group and love that we have added new people to the group. My group is reading a new book together and I feel like we are being challenged every week to get out of our comfort zones to see what God will do with us. I love these girls and their desire to follow Jesus. It is such an encouragement for me to hear their needs, troubles, successes, and aspirations as we work together to further the kingdom. I pray we can continue to grow and have confidence in God's blessings. I am also getting more and more exciting about a class that I am going to be teaching this fall on Wednesday's nights. It has been awhile since I have taught a Bible class and I 'feel the call' again. This time I plan on teaching the book of Mark. I am excited for several reason. First, the study time is so fulfilling for me personally. I have been study diligently over the past several months. I have been intentional about reading the book all the way through without stopping. This story is so amazing and I feel like I see something new and interesting every time I read it. For me, someone who was raised in church, I have rediscovered Jesus. It has changed me. Secondly,I feel a call, now more than ever, to help others rediscover, or even discover for the first time, Him and what that means in their life. I want these ladies to be excited about the gospel and be able to answer the question Mark asks..."who is Jesus?" There are also several people who have expressed interest in coming to the class who have little to no experience in studying the bible or church in general. So I am excited about the dynamics of the class..but also nervous about it. I pray God is already working on their hearts and things will line up perfectly for Jesus to be seen. Can't you just feel my excitement:)

The class will end at the end of November and my due date is Dec 12th. So then it will be baby time! In Between all of that we will vacation and visit family and enjoy our time as a family of 4. So we will be busy, but a good kind of busy.

Happy summer everyone!

ONE YEAR!!!

Corbs, tomorrow you will be ONE YEAR OLD! You are such a sweet, energetic, independent, little boy and we love you so much. We are having a family party this weekend in Melber. Here are a few things I want to be sure to remember about you at 1yr.

-You LOVE horses. You try and say 'horse' but it comes out 'seez'. You can say several words (well things that sound like the word). You say "Dow" for dog; ma ma; da da; Ra Ra (your favorite word), Some kind of two syllable 'Ba' sound when you see BaBa and Bala; you try and say Aaron and it sounds similar to Ra Ra. Other than that you say 'da' and 'dis' for about everything when you point.
-You always want to go outside. Playing on the steps is your favorite. You have almost mastered going up and down by yourself. Still wipe out every now and then so I try and watch you closely, especially on the concrete.
-You are becoming VERY independent and opinionated. You especially want to feed yourself. You can use a fork and spoon decently well. You also have very little fear of things...like pools. You keep your mama on her toes!
-You eat anything and A LOT of it. I fear the teen years because of you son. This will be a Sam's loving family I think. Favorite foods are spaghetti, vanilla wafers, oatmeal, green beans and apple jacks. Like I said though...you will eat just about anything.
-You sleep through the night 7:30pm-6am. I am not a fan of the early morning, but I love that you sleep through the night. I know it will get better...so I'm pushing through.
-You love music. You definitely recognize certain songs that your brother loves and dance like crazy when you hear them. Such personality you have little boy!
-You took your first 2 steps today! Straight to your mama:) You have been able to stand by yourself for over a week now but hadn't taken any steps until today. Your daddy is in New York with Papa so he missed it:(
-You love your brother. Over the past month you two have started wrestling with each other and you are one tough boy. I love it!



This year has gone by so fast sweet Corban. We are loving having you as our son. We love you so much!

brothers are fun

We were finally able to plant our garden yesterday. Both boys 'helped.' Aaron really did help some. He was so excited about it that he was up at 6:15am this morning and at the side of my bed, fully dressed, ready to go 'check' the garden. Unfortunately I was unable to convince him that nothing would grow for at least a week. He was out there at the fence and very disappointed that nothing had grown. Love that boy:) Also, I should take a moment to tell everyone that we are expecting baby #3! I had my first ultrasound this past week and everything looks good. Baby should make his or her appearance around Dec. 12th. Even though this is a complete surprise and shock we are slowly coming around to be excited and grateful. We covet everyone's prayers.

Corban 11 months

Sweet Corban, you are 11 months old. Here are a few things I want to be sure to remember about you right now:)



-You are so close to walking. You can pull up on everything and can use your push walker to get where you need to go. I think you will definitely be walking by next month.
-You are full of personality and are very confident in expressing how you feel. Screaming is the way you express your discontent. We firmly tell you 'no' but can't help but chuckle because of how dramatic you are when you are upset. Most of the time you put your head to the ground and sob, look up at us with your scrunchy nose, and then put your head back down to cry again.
-You are a pretty opinionated little boy. Still an easy baby, but when you want something, you make your needs known.
-Your favorite word is 'da-da.' You walk around and say it all the time randomly. But you also seem to know to associate that with your daddy. You only say ma ma when you are upset...that's not very fun for me.
-You love to play in your brother's room. Since you are so mobile now, your brother gets annoyed with you because you tear down his towers...which is followed by your screams and him shouting no at you. Ahhh...brotherly love. It's already starting. Most of the time you all get along though. You love each other very much.
-You are attempting to say a few words. You try to mimic the word 'duck.' You have a toy duck that you love. You can mimic different sounds/syllables after me when I say them. Words like 'Ba la' and 'Ra Ra.'
-You are sleeping though the night really well now. Bedtime between 7 and 8pm and you wake up between 6 and 7am.
-I nurse you in the morning and at night still. You will eat almost anything as long as it's soft and not too chewy. Spaghetti and green beans are your favorite right now, but you will eat pretty much anything I give you. I LOVE this about you.
-You point at things now and babble something and then look at me. It's cute.
-This past month you decided that you love horses. You spend a lot of your play time looking out the sliding door watching the horses. You reach or anyone who is going near them. You rode with your daddy last weekend and seemed to enjoy every minute of it. Daddy and I are excited about riding with you and brother this summer.
-You still stay with Jesica once a week while I work and seem to be doing really well.
-Most everyone says you look just like your mama:)
-You love your Ra Ra. The last few times we have been around her, you are glued to her. It's cute:) I think she likes it too!
-You LOVE to dance. Anytime you hear music you start to dance...it's adorable. Sometimes you are really feeling it and spin around on your bottom in circles...or course with your scrunchy smile the whole time.


Corban, we love you so much. You bring such color and joy to our family. God has blessed our family immensely.

Look what I did!

Enjoying my boys

The weather is really warming up and we are spending a lot of our time outside now. Corban is really having fun discovering the outside by himself since he is so mobile. He is also Mr. Independant as you will see in the spaghetti fiasco picture:) He refuses to let us feed him anymore. Aaron is done with school next month for the summer. He is already talking about all the swimming he is going to be doing. We are excited about this summer!!

Spring weather

This past weekend was GORGEOUS! We took full advantage of it and spent as much time outside as possible. It was so great wearing just a tee-shirt and jeans and even some SHORTS:) Aaron even learned to ride his bike without training wheels. His idea...not ours. But he is doing great. We posted a video on facebook. Mom and Raich came for the weekend which made it even better. Corban is finally better after having a high fever for a full 5 days. He ended up having to get 3 antibiotic shots in order to kick the stupid virus. It is so nice to see his sweet scrunched up smile again. Saturday morning we went to a mobile pantry that our church was participating in with an organization called "5 Loaves 4 Kids" which gives lunch to lower income kids every week. They were sponsoring a mobile pantry for those same kids during their spring break. It was a GREAT turn out and there was NO food left. I know that we were able to help so many families with this effort. For that I praise God. That afternoon we went on a hike with mom and Raich. Aaron was so excited for my mom in particular to be here. He even requested that he sleep in his room with him and have a 'sleep over.' She agreed. I love it! I know he talked her ear off:) We worshiped Sunday together and ate lunch before they had to leave. A great small group ended the evening and then off to bed. This weekend was a great for me because I was renewed after finding myself in a pretty stinky, low mood over the past few weeks. I'm not even sure I knew how deflated I had felt until I had such an uplifting weekend. Thank you God for knowing just what I need!

10 months

This weekend, you will be 10 months old Corban! You are crawling everwhere and becoming more and more aware of what is going on around you. You have pulled up a few times, so we are expecting big things from you soon:) You have been sick twice in the past month with ear infections and a nasty virus that is still trying to stay around. We have locked ourselves in the house for this entire week waiting for your fever to go away. This mama is exhausted after being up for a solid week day and night. So this month's post is just a few pictures. Love you bunches.

Gracious

I am putting together (writing) something for small group that has to do with the virtue of being Gracious. I chose the topic. I am now finding it ironic that I chose that particular topic since I am currently struggling with possessing this particular virtue right now. Well, who isn't? I guess I mean in the past week it has been particularly difficult. I have categorized my thoughts into two categories; 1) being gracious and 2) receiving graciousness. So, what did I do first when starting research??? Looked up the definition. There are several, but here is what most say:

Gracious (according to the Bible Encyclopedia) - "to favor," "to show kindness" to an inferior and "to be compassionate."
Mostly this word is used in the Bible to describe God and his favor, mercy, and kindness.

First thing in the definition that struck me was the fact that being gracious was to favor, show kindness, or be compassionate toward an inferior. An inferior?? Another definition said 'someone of lower social status.'

So I don't have all my thoughts together but I have a TON of questions. So here are a few I am throwing around. What do you think???

1. Is there a difference between being Gracious and being merciful?
2. When is being gracious easy? When is it hard?
3. How have I felt when someone acted graciously toward me? Did that change the way I act toward others?
4. What other virtues should I have so I can be better and being gracious?
5. What can I do to improve how 'gracious' I am to others?

The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 145:8

9 months!

I know this blog is way late...oops. Still got it done though.

We made it to 9 months Corbs:)




-As usual, you are an easy baby. Although right now you are going through the 'never put me down' phase.
-If you are unhappy about something you are quick to voice how you feel in a loud scream or screech. No one gave you the memo that we are not a family that screams. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's pretty obnoxious.
-Nicknames: Corb(s), Corby little warbs.
-You have started crawling. You are getting faster every day and seem to be much more content now that your world has opened up. I am having to re-adjust to you being more mobile though. I have even lowered your crib because you are starting to pull up some.
-You nurse 2 times a day and eat when we eat our meals. You still just have 2 teeth but are learning how to chew pretty well. I can feed you most soft things in small bites. Favorite foods: yogurt, spaghetti, graham crackers, puffs, vanilla wafers, potatoes, mac and cheese. You basically eat a ton of stuff and aren't too picky.
-You are in 9 month and some 12mo clothes now. Your cheeks are very pinchable:) You weigh 18 1/2 lbs and are over 28inches long.
-You take 2 naps a day. One around 9am for about an hour and the other between 1-2pm for a few hours. You are attached to Nuzzy for sure for sleeping. You normally wake up between 6 and 7am.
-I have gone back to work (again) this month and you are staying with Jesica Crowe. She is really great with you and you don't cry when I leave you...this make a mama happy:)
-You are a daddy's boy. If daddy is around, you prefer him. Your daddy LOVES this. So does a mama.
-My favorite thing you do right now is follow your brother around while he plays. You know where his room is and if you know he's in there you will go in there and play 'with' him. Most of the time this results in you screaming because he is trying to shove you in the closet to play with him, but you will both play in there for a good 20-30min before I have to intervene. Big brothers are awesome to play with:)
-You are saying 'ma-ma' 'da-da' 'ba ba' and many other sounds. You clap your hands and throw them in the air when you hear music. This cracks us up, especially when we sing "If you're happy and you know it."
-You wave hi and bye and put your arms above your head when we say "praise the Lord!"
-You scrunch your nose up when you smile...just like your mama! Most people say you look just like me, especially the nose scrunching thing. It IS pretty adorable.

What if you were almost 1 year old Corban???!!! We sure do love you. Your smile is contagious. We are so thankful for the blessing your life has brought our family. Keep growing sweet boy!

Convicted

Today I am convicted. Deeply convicted.

For the past 4 or 5 years I have had what I call a growth spurt, spiritually. Growing up, I was taught that everyone has a gift that God gives them. My dad was a preacher so that his gift wasn't a secret...in my mind. My mom was and still is a gifted teacher. Both of them taught us to be servants always and give all that you can. There was never much of a focus on gifts though and actually I would say that I didn't understand the purpose of gifts. My parents pretty much made us the 'doers' of the church and so I just thought I had to do everything for everyone. That is what God expected. Still, I remembering trying to figure my gift out. I felt like I was 'good' and a lot of things. I cared a lot about people. I loved to talk to people and could get along very well with pretty much everyone. I struggled MAJORLY with confidence in my teen years and was too concentrated on not being seen to worry about what I might be gifted in, or even called to do for God's mission. I got married and moved to a small town in Tullahoma, Tn. My husband was much better intellectually and was an excellent student of the Bible. For sure I saw God's hand in my choice of a husband. He was just what I needed to help me be completely open to what God had in store for me. I graduated nursing school and we started attending a rather large church in town where we slowly started settling down and making friends. It is at this church that God has taught me what it means to be part of the body of Christ. I was encouraged by many to teach (including a huge shove from Mark) my first bible class and did my first 'public' speaking for a women's retreat in this church. From there I slowly learned what it is I believe God is calling me to do. I believe God has given me the gift of empowering women. I have realized over the past several years that a lot of women do not feel confident (as I did/still do) about their ability to study, lead, pray in public, and many other things that put them in the spot light in the worship/church atmosphere. Of course there are exceptions, but not many and there aren't hardly any who feel leadership from a woman alongside or over a man is acceptable. I feel a call to recognize that women have a voice and can be confident, knowledgeable, and leaders in the Kingdom of God. I know God doesn't call all women to lead publicly, but I know he has called some. I want to encourage women to be confident in whatever God has gifted them in, including public leadership roles. For me, empowerment has many forms like teaching class, helping women pray publicly or out loud in a small group, speaking at events(something that I enjoy but am definitely not as good as I want to be), studying with individuals and groups, and much more. Am I very mature in the development of my gift?...nope. I feel like I am just in the beginning stages. With the encouragement of my husband and several close friends, I am now willing to step out with confidence in my Lord to this thing that I know I have been called to do.

I am reading a book right now by Sara Barton that was recommended to me by a good friend. That is the motivation for this blog post. I was hooked by the end of the first paragraph, and have pretty much not stopped reading...well other than taking care of my kids:) This woman was raised in my same church of Christ tradition. This book is a testimony of what she believes God has gifted and called her to do for his mission in this world. She feels very strongly that she is gifted in preaching and teaching, and even more that God has called her for this purpose. That particular calling is extremely difficult because, well, in our tradition (for the most part) preaching and teaching (leadership-to men and women) is only for the men of the congregation. This is not an opinion for most people, it's 'truth.' That is a difficult calling to say the least. As I started to read this incredible woman's thoughts, beliefs, conflicts, successes, failures, and much more I found myself feeling happy, proud, justified, heard, and just plain excited. Her words resonated with me so deeply and before I knew it I had my (internal) boxing gloves on and was all but ready to stand up and fight for injustice that women have endured. I felt empowered and ready to express it! Then, I read the ninth chapter. I put away my boxing gloves. She shared her struggle about staying in a tradition that does not allow her to express what she believes is her gift from God. She talks about the difficulty in fully loving those who you disagree with at a very basic level. And she seems to be doing it much, much better than me. How do you worship and have relationships with those who do not allow you to express who God has made you to be in his Kingdom???? She says God answered many of her prayers with Cor 13 about love. Does it solve the gender issues in church? No. But, "love wins," she says. How? (This is convicting part for me) It doesn't envy men who are leaders or women who are content in their traditional roles. It doesn't give in to anger or record wrongs. It always perseveres, hopes, trusts.

After reading her words I was truly convicted. Does love automatically make issues that are hard to talk about go away? No. Does it mean we shouldn't discuss these issues or have a strong opinion about them? I don't think so. What I realized was that I was so worked up about women's rights and the injustice I see; I was so upset about seeing one more young man that was taught from the time he could speak about leading the church, while completely disregarding the young women; I was deeply hurt and saddened that one of my peers could not even pray in front of 3 or 4 close girl friends because of a lack of confidence and experience. I wanted to place the blame and point fingers. I have allowed all of those frustrations I have, while valid, to take control of my heart and mind. I was so focused on my own frustrations that I lost track of truly loving.

Sara's gift and my gift are not the same. But we do see the same injustice and have a lot of the same frustrations I think. I love her writing because I see myself in what she says. She is able to express a lot of my thoughts perfectly. (oh how I wish writing was a gift of mine:) How do I arrive at choosing love over envy and anger? I think it starts some where around trust that God through his spirit will teach me to love first. With God's help, I will choose to love every person as best I can. I will also fulfill his calling in my life as best I can. Not for me, but because I am a part of the Kingdom of God where love reigns first. Is that too simple? Maybe. But it's gonna be hard. But I have confidence that just as God brought me out of my struggle with confidence before, he will for sure do it again!

The Boys

It rained all morning. Both boys sat by the door watching and waiting for it to stop.

Corban doesn't understand that he can't have Aaron's nuzzy. Aaron thinks it's funny..for now.

He scrunches his nose when he smiles just like his mama:)

I sure do love my two boys!

Sunshine

We are SO glad to see the sun the past few days. We were able to be outside all yesterday afternoon and most of the day today:) We are all smiles at the Adams house.